The most comprehensive collection of Clarkson's quotes - Part 3

And its back!

Part 1

Part 2

• Traffic jams

Don't use it (motorways). Don't use it. Stay at work, be productive and buy yourself a helicopter.

• Driving across the Okavango Delta

Men in camouflage trousers in Wales who like murdering people at weekends would say this was tough going.

• Toyota Prius

The only thing that drinks more is the English cricket team.

• Porsche Cayman

There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

• Pagani Zonda

Really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

• Mercedes CLS 55 AMG

Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

• Rolls Royce Phantom

I imagined that driving this car through a village would be a bit like trying to thread an oil rig through someone’s letterbox.

• BMW Z3

And if you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here’s your car.

• BMW M3 CSL

This is the car bought by the type of man who lies awake at night thinking about his gear shift aggression strategy for the drive to work the next morning.

• Cyclists

The cyclist is ‘a guest on roads that are paid for by motorists’

Read further

Battle of the 700+ bhp

First there was Ferrari, then Lamborghini and then there was Pagani. Pagani shamed the might of the established supercar manufacturers with the Zonda and its countless iteration (about 18) of them! For a manufacturer which has made ummm... only 1 car, that was quite an epic achievement.

Now there is a new Pagani - the Huayra. Difficult-to-pronounce-names aside, it takes the manufacturer forward in terms of performance, but also 'backward' in terms of styling. I really don't think it has the same 'shock and awe' effect as the Zonda had. Look for yourself and decide.

Here's the Zonda:



And now the Huayra:


Not exactly a looker is it? Regardless, the vital number here is 730 bhp which should take the Huayra to 233 mph or a point where you would be making 'huayra' noises from your mouth. However, the Huayra is not the only predator in the automobile jungle.

Let me introduce you to another 700 bhp monster - the Gumpert Tornante. Its predecessor, the Apollo, whipped all other supercars (including the Zonda) around the Top Gear test track. The Tornante should be faster and far more pleasing on the eyes at the same time. This car should be able to take Gumpert from being a 'neither here nor there' manufacturer to a serious contender. Or will it?


Not to be outdone, the biggest bad boy in history isn't lying around waiting to be dethroned. Lamborghini is all set to join this 700 bhp battle with its Aventador! Easily the best looking of the trio, it will hit 0-60 mph in under 3 seconds and reach an estimated 217 mph. While those figures may be top trumped by the Pagani and the Gumpert, the Lamborghini would cost 'only' $370000 compared to the Huayra's $1.5 million and the Tornante's $800000.

The supercar scene is move alive and kicking that it ever was! Which side are you on? Me? Well until the replacement for the Ferrari Enzo is launched, I will side with the current supercar king - Pagani. Read further