Friday, May 13, 2011

The most comprehensive collection of Clarkson's quotes - Part 3

And its back!

Part 1

Part 2

  • Traffic jams
Don't use it (motorways). Don't use it. Stay at work, be productive and buy yourself a helicopter.
  • Driving across the Okavango Delta
Men in camouflage trousers in Wales who like murdering people at weekends would say this was tough going.
  • Toyota Prius
The only thing that drinks more is the English cricket team.
  • Porsche Cayman
There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.
  • Pagani Zonda
Really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.
  • Mercedes CLS 55 AMG
Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.
  • Rolls Royce Phantom
I imagined that driving this car through a village would be a bit like trying to thread an oil rig through someone’s letterbox.
  • BMW Z3
And if you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here’s your car.
  • BMW M3 CSL
This is the car bought by the type of man who lies awake at night thinking about his gear shift aggression strategy for the drive to work the next morning.
  • Cyclists
The cyclist is ‘a guest on roads that are paid for by motorists